Saturday, October 26, 2013

Capture Your Grief - Days 16 & 17

Day 16: Seasons

All of my babies have been born in the early summer. When I was pregnant with the twins I would always think about how huge I would be and wonder how I would possibly make it through the summer (I was due in Sept). Little did I know that I wouldn't get a chance to be miserable all summer. I ended up on bedrest in May, ended up in the hospital, and then delivered, all before summer even officially arrived.

There are also seasons of grief, some "harder" or "easier" than others. Seasons when the yearly anniversaries come up and I spend many of my days remembering the moments or tearing up a little more than usual or the holidays where I wish our whole family was here to celebrate. And then there are seasons where I am able to be so thankful for the changes Carter's life brought about in my own life and those around us.

Day 17: Time

Even though there are a set number of hours in the day, days in a month, and months in a year, time never seems to take up the same amount of space. A year seems so short and so long at the same time. Can it really have been two years since I last held Carter in my arms? And at the same time, has it only been two years? It seems like I have spent a lifetime without him. Somehow the days stretch into months and the months into years and life keeps moving whether I want it to or not.

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