While we can't have him here in our earthly home, we know that he is at home in heaven. Sometimes it is easy for me to remember that he is happy, healed and whole in heaven, and sometimes it's not. I'm glad it's true whether I feel like it's true or not. I am happy for him that he is with God, never to feel any pain, but I hurt for me that I don't get to have him. Selfish, I know.
I often listen to this song on repeat and I cry every time. We just miss Carter so much. Some days my arms physically ache to be able to hold him again. I like the part that says "I will carry you, all your life...long beyond the empty cradle". I did carry him for almost every moment of his life on this earth, while I was pregnant and as he left this world. I will also carry him all of my life. While I can't carry him physically, he is never far from my thoughts and he is always in my heart and I know that God is now carrying him for me.