Day 5: Memorial

Day 5. Memorial This could be anything you have had done in memory of your baby/ies/child/ren. It could be their plaque at the cemetery or a tree that has been planted in their memory, anything at all.

One of the things I have done that I am most proud of is these diapers. I have more about the diapers saved up for another post so I won't go into too many details. Yesterday my mom posted this picture on facebook and it made me cry. They went to visit "Heaven's Gate" on their trip to Idaho and she took a little diaper with her to leave for Carter. I have been missing my boy so much over the last week. I have been trying to think of a reason why it got so hard again when I had been having mostly good weeks. I was trying to find a reason for my crying through Bible Study and Cohen's OT. The only conclusion I came to is that I think that living without my Carter is enough of a reason to feel sad and weepy. Man it's hard to live without him.

Thank you Mom, for leaving little tiny diapers at Heaven's Gate for Carter.

 And this is Carter's grave on his first birthday. The little handprints in the top corner are his. The little Peter Rabbit was our way of connecting him with Cohen. We read Peter Rabbit to Cohen all the time in the NICU so when we saw the image, we knew it was the way to bring him together with his twin.

My mom and I also got tattoos last December. Mine is of Carter and Cohen's footprints.