31 Days

Cohen had his echo yesterday and the results came back today and...his PDA is a little smaller!!! Yay! I asked the doctor if the PDA actually gets smaller or if he gets bigger but I don't know if they really know. What they do is actually measure the amount of force going through the opening. So if it's a big PDA then the blood flows slower and if the hole is smaller the it goes through faster with more force, and that's how they can tell how big it is, some kind of physics thing :) But anyway, its a little smaller so he started his steroids this afternoon. We are praying that these will give him the little boost he needs to make some progress. We also got to get some snuggle time in since he is back on his regular ventilator. And also, Cohen reached a whopping 2 lbs today!!! Some of it may be from the fluid he has in his lungs but for today, he has reached 2 lbs. He is also up to 5.3 mL an hour on his tube feedings.

I was sitting out in the lobby this morning and there was a bunch of people waiting for a tour of labor and delivery. One of the girls said she was 29 weeks along, which is where I would have been with Carter and Cohen. The lady in charge came and asked me if I was there for the tour and I told her that I had a baby in the NICU and I didn't quite make it to the "touring" stage. I got my tour up close when I was admitted to the hospital. Sometimes I think about how I missed out on the normal parts of pregnancy. I didn't get to go to my baby showers. I didn't tour labor and delivery. I didn't get to see my babies or hear them cry when they were born. I didn't have visitors after the babies were born. There were no flowers or balloons. Sometimes I am sad that I missed out on all those things, but then I remember how thankful I am just to have Cohen here, and although it would have been nice, those things aren't important.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat.