Well, we are going in for our weekly appointment tomorrow at UW. We will find out if they want us there every week or if we can alternate between here and Bellingham. Obviously, for the sake of not driving 2 hours to Seattle every week, it would be nice to be able to have at least every other appt here. However, it may also be more reassuring to go to UW every week because if something changes then they are the ones making the plans from here on out so it would be quicker to just be there and have them decide right away. Like I mentioned earlier, we are trying to keep Danny working as much as he can now without having to take days off so Mom will be picking me up and driving me to Seattle.
I've been thinking a lot about making plans lately. Its funny how we can try and make plans, try and wait until we are "ready" and feel like we are in a good place to start having kids. We have a house, good jobs, family around, should be all ready right? So often I try and make plans and then God comes shows me that they are not my plans, they are his plans. It wasn't in my plan to have twins (although a nice surprise!). It wasn't in my plan to end up in a high risk pregnancy where there is a very real possibility of having these babies pretty early. It wasn't in my plan to have to sit around every day and wonder if my worst fears will come true and the babies will decide they are ready to come out (they better not!) It wasn't in my plan to have to worry about losing my job and my insurance along with it. I can plan and plan all I want, but ultimately, it isn't about my plans. Its about God's plans and what he has in store for us. I definitely don't understand his plan at this point, but I know that he must have a pretty good one. He chose us to walk through this and I know he will give us the strength to continue. It hasn't been easy, there have been many tears and unrestful nights, and I'm sure there are many more to come. But I have to believe that God has a plan. A plan better than I could have imagined or hoped for. I was reminded the other day that God isn't in heaven wondering what is going to happen with these babies, he already knows! He doesn't give us more than we can handle (although sometimes it feels like it!) and he doesn't make us do it alone.
Anyway, this is kind of a random, rambling post. But these are the things I have been thinking about lately. My Aunt sent me a card with this verse. I've read it many times before, but its a good reminder to me, especially today.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we head to Seattle tomorrow! Pray that the fluid the babies have are still at acceptable levels, that they are still growing at similar rates, and that my cervix is behaving! Thanks!