* I just wanted to say thank you for your prayers and comments/messages about yesterday's post. I should clarify that by non-exciting I didn't mean "bad" changes, just non-exciting in that I didn't think you would be interested! :) It actually has the potential to be some very good changes. I'll keep you posted and we still appreciate your prayers!
Since the beginning of all this, we have always wondered how losing his identical twin is going to affect Cohen. Honestly, we don't know how we are going to raise Cohen as a twinless twin. At this point, we mostly have questions with few answers.
What will it feel like to be a twinless twin? I have heard that single twins who grow up without their sibling said they always felt like something was missing. Is that how it will feel for Cohen? Will he wonder what he's missing out on when he sees other twins with that "special bond"? When I think of twins, I think of this incredible bond between two people. They may have their own language or know what the other is thinking.
I have read stories from twinless twins and they break my heart. One of the things that is the hardest for me is knowing that Cohen's life will probably continue to be difficult. He didn't get to leave his problems at the door of the hospital. While from a preemie standpoint he is doing fabulously, he still has a lot he is going to deal with. How do we raise him not to be a "why me" kind of little boy and instead a boy who can use his difficult beginnings to make him stronger and to help others?
How do we help him through losing his brother? How do we help him to know that he is our pride and joy but that we still miss his brother every day? How will we help him when if wonders why he got to live and Carter didn't? What if it doesn't affect him as much as we think it may?
While some twins never find out that they were in fact a twin until later in life, we don't think that's fair to Cohen. He will know about Carter from as early on as he understands. We have no intentions of keeping the fact that he has a twin from him. This is all such uncharted territory for us and we aren't exactly sure how we will handle it when that time comes. We pray that we will be able to handle whatever comes with grace and wisdom. We just want Cohen to know how much he is loved and that we will support him the best that we can, however that looks.