Thank you all for your kind comments on Carter's video. If you didn't get a chance to see it, you can watch it here. I think it will be worth your time :) Sorry there aren't any pictures today. Cohen has been a little...crabby the last few days. He has been sleeping constantly and mostly refusing to eat. We are hoping maybe he is just teething or growing.
I don't set New Year's Resolutions. Honestly, I don't even like New Year's Eve. It's probably my least favorite holiday. I have to stay up late and usually socialize. I would rather just go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning, it's a new year! I am ready for a new year. This last one was so hard and felt so long, we are ready to start fresh. I know that the calendar changing isn't going to magically make things any easier or take away any of our pain, but it just feels new you know? And I am ready for that.
I do have some goals for this coming year:
1. To continue to share our story, on this blog, and with people that I meet. Our story has brought us in contact with some really great people that we wouldn't have met otherwise. I feel like something good will come out of this, in time, and hopefully letting other people share in our journey is helping someone, somewhere.
2. Continue to see God working in our lives. He has brought us through so much and we continue to have hope in him that he will see us through whatever is next for us.
3. Money. Sigh. We are SO thankful for all of you who have chosen to help our family financially. Honestly, we would be bankrupt if God hadn't taken care of us the way that he has. We have gone from a two full time income household, to one and a little, tiny bit. Thankfully, we have two cars that are paid off. They aren't pretty, but they are ours. When we bought a house we set the price for what we wanted and then found a house whose price just happened to be lowered that day to something less than what we had planned. We are thankful now for those house payments instead of the ones we would have been making on a more expensive house. We tried to put Cohen on both of our insurances and it just wasn't working out. And so we had to pick a different option, and thankfully, it covers all of Cohen's medical bills. It's not what we had planned, but it has been a blessing in disguise. The reality of that hit when we got an $890,0000 bill in the mail. And that was just ONE of them (and he is worth every penny!) and doesn't include Carter's or my own bills. I'm telling you this because God has provided for us in huge ways through circumstances and also through some generous family, friends, and even strangers. Our goal is to take care of this money as best we can. This year our prayer is that we will be good stewards of what we have.
4. This kind of goes along with the above and we will see how this one goes. I have been trying to practice this a little bit already, but I really want to give this a try for the whole year. I am not buying Cohen any clothes over $5. We have been giving some of Cohen's clothes that he has outgrown away and taking some to the local consignment store. I have found that I can get some nice clothes there, some still with tags, for a very reasonable price. At this age Cohen goes through clothes so fast that I'm not sure I can justify spending a lot on brand new clothes. I will probably make a few exceptions, like a "birthday boy" shirt on his birthday or if there is other special occasions. But I am going to really try to do this all year. So if you have any boy clothes you want to get rid of...I know a very cute boy who would wear them
5. I mentioned my Project Life album earlier and that is something that I really want to keep on top of this year. I think it will be really neat to look back at our year this way.
6. Clean out our extra room. Ugh. It started out as my craft/sewing room and has now become a junk room. Things we haven't had time to deal with or organize end up in there or in the garage. So my goal this year is to clean it out and organize it.
7. To keep perspective. Losing a baby changes you. Having a baby sick and in the hospital changes you. It changes the way you view things and what you make important in your life. One of my personal goals is to try and continue to focus on what is important and let the rest go. Sometimes I have high expectations of myself and I get frustrated if things aren't done how I think they should be or when they should be. But, there are things in life that matter, and there are things that don't. There are things that are worth my time (Jesus, family, friends) and there are things that aren't (getting grumpy about long lines at the grocery store, the house not being spotless etc.)
8. To give back. We have been given so much and we want to continue to pass it on however we can. We aren't sure what that will look like yet, maybe another project like the stockings. We will see...
9. Oh, and to eat more vegetables.
Maybe at the end of 2012 I will look back and see how I did :)