How Do you Measure?

Cohen is 120 days old.
2880 hours old.
172,800 minutes old.
1,0368,000 seconds old.
With the exception of the 15 minutes he spent out of his room yesterday, all of those days, hours, minutes, seconds, spent in the hospital.

Remember the "Rent" song " 525,600 minutes"? They talk about a year in minutes and how do you measure a year in the life? I had that song stuck in my head this morning and although the subject is different, and we haven't been there quite a year, I found myself thinking how do you measure 120 days in the hospital?

By number of times Cohen has had labs drawn?
By the number of IV lines he has had?
By the number of diapers he has gone through?
By the number of outfits he has worn?
By the number of syringes of food he has gotten?
By the number of binkys we have gone through due to him growing or dropping them on the floor?
By the number of hospital gowns we have worn to hold him?
By the number of pictures we have taken of him?
By the number of miles we have driven back and forth from Lynden to Seattle, the hospital to the home and back again?
By the number of times we have ready "Guess How Much I Love You" and "Goodnight Moon"?
By the number of nurses and doctors he has had?
By the number of tears we have cried over him?
By the number of prayers we have said for him?
By the number of minutes we spent begging God not to take him from us?
By the number of minutes we have spent celebrating that he is still alive?
By the number of things he has overcome?
Maybe it's all of the above. Maybe that's how you measure 4 months in our life.

After yesterday was so great, today was frustrating. I think we all got so excited that Cohen could finally eat that we wore him out. He only breastfed twice today and slept through the rest of his feeds. I talked to his attending Dr a little about realistic expectations for Cohen before he goes home. If they really want him to take ALL of his feeds by bottle/breast before he goes home (which is what the majority of other babies have to do), we are going to be in the hospital for awhile longer. Somehow the Drs had missed the memo that we were wanting to get him home and were more than willing to take him home with a feeding tube. We talked about the possibility of transferring him up to Bellingham, or figuring out a more concrete plan for what they want him to do with his feeds. Like maybe they will see what he does in a week and then teach us how to take care of his oxygen/feeding tube and send him home when he's ready. Or maybe he would just take feedings during the day and be tube fed at night. Something like that. At this  point, the Dr says pretty much the only thing keeping him there is his feeding. It's all a little up in the air. We are tired and honestly, I don't have much energy left for all of these ups and downs. But of course we want to do what is going to be best for Cohen in the long run whether that's staying at the hospital or taking him home. The Drs are going to have a little meeting tomorrow to kind of get everybody's input and see what they think will be the best plan for Cohen. Please pray for wisdom for us and the Drs that we are doing what is best for Cohen and for our family. It's been way too long since we've all been together as a family.