Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A Who-la?

Danny and I recently met with a doula. I'm not sure I ever really knew what a doula was, but we live near a hippie-ish town with the nickname "Birthingham". So, I've heard about doulas in a moms support group that I am in.

Considering our last experience, I want to do whatever I can to make this a better experience. I've said this before, and often feel a little guilty about it, but the boys' birthday was not the best day of my life.  In fact it was probably the worst. And so, when I heard about a doula and some of the support they can offer, I asked Danny what he thought. He had no idea what a doula was, but wanted me to have what I felt like I needed to have a positive experience.

From my understanding, a doula is basically like a support person. They help make a birth plan and then help remind you (and others) of that plan during labor. As I've mentioned before, we are sort of first time parents even though this isn't our first time. I have no idea what labor is like or what to expect. So, a doula is someone who will have a relationship with us and an understanding of what we hope for during the birth. They can also help out during the actual labor with breathing techniques, positions, etc.

I like the idea of someone I already have an established relationship being there to help out and support us when the baby is born. Since there are no guarantees of who will show up to deliver the baby, it makes me feel more comfortable knowing there will be a familiar face to help me hopefully have the experience we want. I am nervous about the emotional aspect and how many feelings and memories are going to come up. I think it will be beneficial for meI also like the idea that she can be present during a c-section (as long as it isn't an emergency) because I feel like that is the situation where I have the most potential to really struggle emotionally. If Danny left to be with baby, I would still have someone there with me. She can also help to be our voice for things we want like skin to skin right away, or to at least see the baby right away. One of the things I am most nervous about is having another c-section and having the baby taken away and not getting to see him for some reason. I know that will be really hard for me as we never saw or heard anything of our boys when they were born. Hopefully, this time around we will be in a position where we do get to see our baby right away.

Anyway, we are excited about the possibility of having a doula to help us hopefully have the best experience we can. Anyone out there ever had a doula for their birth?


  1. I am a doula :)

    I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have!

  2. What a great idea! We are still wavering on whether we will try again, but I am gathering information and resources now just in case. I have heard of doulas, but didn't think of it as an option. Sounds like a great resource for you to help you be as comfortable as possible with your pregnancy and birth experience this time. Good luck!

  3. I think that is a great idea. I never had one, but I think it is great for you to try to create a positive birth experience. I imagine it would be very healing to have one, and I pray that for you. At the same time, sometimes, as you and I both know, things are out of our hands. My first daughter was born at a full 41 weeks and had swallowed meconium so they still took her away before I could hold her. I thought it was the worst thing ever until I had the twins, of course. Then that paled in comparison. Prepare that things can happen that are out of your control, as you know, but why not prepare for the best possible outcome? You totally deserve a wonderful, beautiful experience! And, I will live vicariously through your blog when I read all about it.

  4. I had a doula when Malachi was born (she was actually a doula-in-training, which made it free). She was helpful at encouraging me and keeping me focused. But honestly, I was most happy that she did things like take pictures and refill my water, etc., so that Jeremy could just stay focused on me. =)

  5. LOL, never heard it referred to as Birthingham. Crunchy, granola, etc. though. I think a doula is a great idea. My daughter is due in 3 weeks, and I'm regretting not having found one for her. I thing her husband will be worthless in the delivery room. (Hope I'm wrong.)