Sunday, November 27, 2011
I love Christmas. I usually start decorating before Thanksgiving. This year, I'm not ready. My boxes of decorations have been sitting out waiting to be put up, but I just haven't done it. I keep looking at it and thinking I should put it up, but I'm not ready. I'm not ready to put up our stocking holder and have to decide whether I put up a stocking for Carter or not. I don't know how to celebrate Christmas with my baby gone. I have tried to decorate a few times but nothing looks right so I put it away again. I want Carter here for Christmas and I also want Christmas to be perfect for Cohen, but I can't have either. Maybe one of these days I will be able to bring myself to get ready for Christmas, but right now, I'm not ready.