The boys' due date is approaching. It's one of those dates that will probably forever be in my mind, the day our lives were supposed to change forever when we welcomed our little bundles of joy into the world. The day that should have been full of joy and smiles and matching outfits. Instead we found ourselves forced onto a roller coaster of emotion that we didn't want to be on and couldn't get off of.
It really surprises me how much time passes between June 5th and Sept 15th. The "in between". It seems like so long ago that we celebrated the boys' 2nd birthday. 15 weeks to be exact. An entire summer. Although this one we got to spend at home as a family instead of living 2 hours from home in a hotel. The days we should have been huge and pregnant and preparing for our boys we spent on bedrest hearing horrible statistics for if our boys made it to viability and eventually sitting by Cohen's bedside wondering if he would live or die and grieving our Carter.
I still remember nearly every single thing that Cohen went through packed into those months between reality and what "should have been". We were hoping to be nearing home by then, as many preemies are able to go home around their due date. Our boy, however, was doing things in his own time and wanted to stay in the NICU another month.
The length of time also reminds me what a miracle our boys are. 25 weekers are given a 50% chance of survival and many have severe disabilities. And yet, here we are, 2 years later with our amazing boy. The due date, much like their birthday, will always be a bittersweet day. A painful reminder of what we've lost and what could have been, but also a joyful reminder of our miracle.