I mentioned before that as the time gets closer, I am increasingly nervous about having to have a c-section, more for the emotional aspect that the physical. We are going to try to avoid having a c-section, but there is that possibility. My worry is that laying on that table, even though it's a different one, in a different hospital, will bring back all the feelings and emotions of the boys' delivery. I'm nervous about whether I can make it through without just being knocked out completely, which I really don't want either.
If you are a baby loss or preemie parent, or anyone else who had a traumatic birth, how did you do the second time? Were you in a similar situation? And how did you handle it? I would really love to hear how some of you did with your rainbow baby/next baby. If you are more comfortable emailing me that would be wonderful as well keepingupwiththekimmels@gmail.com
Thank you!!!
I had a c-section with my twins, and 35 days later my MJ died. Will is now 3 years old and healthy and happy. My Rainbow Baby was born in January 2012 and going back to the OR for the c-section was VERY hard and scary. I had this horrible feeling she was going to come out stillborn, or not breathing. When we checked in (different hospital than before) we explained our history to the nurse. We were SO lucky and got an amazing nurse. I told her how scared I was and that I wasn't sure if Maci would be alive when she was born. The nurse was amazing and left me on the fetal monitor up until I went in to the OR and kept reassuring me that at that moment, Maci was indeed alive. When it was time for my spinal, I was a wreck and of course they wouldn't let my hubby in the OR yet. Thankfully my nurse could tell I was crying and came over and held my hands and talked me through the spinal. After that it all happened so fast and next thing I knew Maci was out- screaming her lungs off! The nurse came over and assured me she was healthy and alive. After they sewed me up, Maci never left my side and I got the experience I wanted with a birth. I would recommend to tell your nurse if your scared, and/or your history and tell them what you need. Hopefully you'll get a good nurse who will help you with every step. You are in my prayers!! meganskaggs@sbcglobal.net if you want/need to talk!
ReplyDeleteThank you Megan, your fears sound similar to what mine are. I'm glad you had such great support, that makes me feel better!
DeleteI know what you mean! When I had Cole I was really nervous about something going wrong too. Braelyn's birth was so quick and chaotic. There were so many people in the room and I wasn't always aware of what was going on, which left me really confused. I had an amazing nurse for Cole's birth and I was able to explain to her my scary experiences before. She did an awesome job of reassuring me through the whole process and talking me through the steps. I had a natural birth both times, but my experience with having Cole was amazing. I give a lot of credit to my nurse for recognizing my nervousness and helping me through it. I will be saying some prayers when the time comes that you also get to have a wonderful experience that you will look back on with fond memories!
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin, sounds like I need to put in a request for the best nurse they've got! :)
DeleteMy response here is different but may be helpful. I had a planned surgery a month ago. I was so scared of being back in the OR again even though I knew it was different than having the twins so early. As you know, everything about an emergency c-section at 24 weeks is scary, chaotic, and terrifying. I read a book called Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster. I know you want to avoid a surgery altogether, but the book is great. It helped me understand a lot more about my c-section and feelings I had about it. There is a cd you purchase with the book. It is a relaxation/meditation cd. I think it would be useful for a natural birth too. I put my headphones on and listened to the tape as they rolled me into the OR. I felt so relaxed and heard nothing that I didn't even see the OR or any nurses or doctors in there. Praying all goes perfectly for you.
ReplyDeleteI like the music idea, I may have to look into that, thanks Michelle. Hoping this one is a little calmer!! :)
DeleteI haven't had a second one yet, and hopefully I won't til wonder girl here is out of diapers, but, I wasn't knocked out for my first one. So, if you had to have one, as long as your not knocked out, it isn't so bad really. My husband was in the room, the nurses and staff were fairly laid back, curious about the baby's name and what not. We had a wonderful anesthesiologist, who knew we were scared, and I swear, this man had to have given birth via c section himself. He knew how I would going to feel, when I felt it. Everything was nice. I was ok with it. My husband's daughter's mother had an emergency c section, and he said mine seemed way easier. He doesn't talk much about the birth of his oldest. Poor guy had issues with her, we had our angel baby, then our rainbow baby coded on us an hour after birth. I feel like though, as long as its not an emergency c-section for my next birth, I would be ok with a c section.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my step daughter and I read your blog together (she likes the pictures, she is 6 so, there isn't much reading on her part), and we have been praying for you a safe and happy birth.