23 Weeks

Hooray, another week! We have made it to 23 weeks and so far, so good. I was quite nervous after I started having what I thought were contractions but after being reassured that everything still looks good, they must truly be braxton hicks. So here we are, over halfway and we haven't had to have one talk about "viability" or bedrest or what we would do if our baby was born today.

Just for the record, I hate the word viability. I understand it's purpose in the medical community, but as a parent, feeling your baby kicking and seeing it's heartbeat and then being told it's isn't a baby that can be saved is heartbreaking. I will never, ever forget the horrible conversations we had to have every about whether we would choose to save our babies lives or not despite their possible extreme prematurity. I am so incredibly thankful my heart doesn't have to do that again with our baby boy, I'm not sure I could take it.

It's so strange to think about all we had been through at this point with the twins. And that they would be coming in 2 weeks! Part of me will never truly believe that we will make it to 40 weeks. It just seems so long. I have already checked to make sure we still have a few of Cohen's preemie clothes, I have already made lists in my mind of what we would need to do should we get sent to Seattle to have another early baby. I'm just not sure it's something my brain will ever be able to get around. I would be more than happy to admit that I'm wrong if this baby makes it to 40 weeks though!

It's also strange not to be in bedrest or "taking it easy" mode. I still find myself hesitant to go on a walk that seems too far or pick Cohen up if I don't have to. You know, just in case.  I have more to say on the pregnancy brain of someone who has had a preemie and/or experienced loss. But I'll save that for another day. For now, 23 WEEKS!!!

My belly is getting bigger, my pants are getting smaller, I get embarrassingly tired after one flight of stairs and it's harder to put on my shoes. And I love it all.

This is a blanket I made for baby K3. It may or may not have his name on the other side! Stay tuned and maybe you will find out what it is later this week.