In a matter of two days we are going to have a TWO year old on our hands. Yikes! Where did the time go!? It's so hard to believe that our rambunctious, curious, and slightly stubborn little boy was once an impossibly tiny little peanut fighting against the odds for his life. How incredibly thankful we are.
Honestly, I haven't been in the party planning mood. Not that the boys don't deserve to be celebrated, quite the opposite. I just can't quite get myself there. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and generally highly emotional around this time of year anyway. Danny has Wednesday off so I think we will just take time to spend as a family and see what we feel like that day. I feel somewhat guilty, but thankfully he is young and won't remember (unless he reads this someday). Mostly, I just want him to know how very much he is loved. I'm sure someday he will have a big, fancy party (or I will hire his wonderful Auntie to plan one), but this year just isn't going to be it. I think we will do something nice and quiet for Carter as well.
My boys and all the coulda, shoulda woulda's, the what ifs, and the this isn't how it was supposed to be's...they make this time of year so bittersweet. It would be so nice to have just the sweet part without the bitter, but we are so thankful for both of our boys and their time here. Cohen is the little light of my life and we will never, ever stop missing our Carter.