Day 30. Your Grief – Tell The World What do you want the world to know about this road you are travelling? Do you just want your baby’s name to be spoken? Do you want others to know they are not alone? Whatever it is, write it down on a piece of paper and hold it up for the world to see! (We will be making a video clip of these images from this particular day!)
I have written about many different aspects of grief on the blog -- the value of a baby even if they aren't here on earth, things we want to hear, things we don't want to hear, how you can support us, and how much all of this has taught us. If I could sum everything up about a grief journey, I think it would be these 2 things:
We have no right to judge anyone's path if we haven't been in that place ourselves. And even then, no two people's journeys are exactly alike. You think you know what you would do in a particular situation, but the truth is, until you find yourself there, you have no idea. Please don't judge anyone's grief journey. Be there to love and support and encourage.
This applies to all of life. Sometimes we can be so quick to judge someone's behavior or attitude, but the truth is, you don't know what's going on in their life. That snippy person in line at the grocery store may be dealing with a life threatening illness of a loved one. That woman that bumped into you and didn't seem to pay attention may be trying to process the loss of her child and where she fits in in the world. Just keep in mind that there are often things going on that we don't put out in the open. There were days I wish I just had a sign above my head explaining all my seemingly strange behaviors. I wanted people to understand that my world had been completely turned upside down and the world I thought I knew how to live in, didn't make any sense anymore. This is a good reminder to me as well. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own business that I think surely no one can be going through something as hard as me. The truth is, there are. In the end, everyone deserves kindness and a little understanding.
"Sometimes I get so caught up in my own business that I think surely no one can be going through something as hard as me. The truth is, there are. In the end, everyone deserves kindness and a little understanding."
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the best lesson I've learned so far in our journey through prematurity. I had been getting so angry at others who didn't want to accept our ways of coping and healing and living, but I learned that I had been guilty of the same in the past. I've been working hard on trying to remember that others have things they are dealing with too.
http://jackryansjourney.blogspot.com/
I love this. <3
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I love the sweet pictures of Carters hand and feet :) Second this is so well said! I remember running into, literally running into, someone at the market right after Jonathan died. They said "Whats your problem?" in a really mean voice. I didn't say anything just hung my head and walked away. I wonder if they could of seen my hurting heart if they would of been so harsh. SO very true you just never know what someone is going through.
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