Being Present

These boys. They make me want to hug them, squish them, put in earplugs and hide in my room all at the same time. Some days I'm exhausted and all I want is peace and quiet. A break from the screaming and the seemingly constant "mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy". I want to hide in my closet and eat chocolate.

But then a little voice inside reminds me that they aren't going to be little forever. I keeping imagining them as teenagers and then I just want to sit on them and make them stay babies. I have been feeling a little convicted lately and trying to just embrace them as the kids that they are. Trying to not get irritated about them dumping dirt in the freshly filled swimming pool or throwing their entire lunch on the floor.

I'm trying to put down my phone a little more. Engage a little more. Be a little less distracted. Trying to say "Yes! Lets!" a little more instead of "No. Stop. Don't..." Embracing the sticky hands and the dirty floors. i love these babies with all my heart. So I'll take the "nuggles" with the fits and the "Mommy get closer"s even when I'm feeling touched out. I know they are growing up so fast and I just don't want to look back and wish I had slowed down and just been more present in this time.

We aren't promised forever. We aren't promised a certain number of months, days or hours. I'm doing my best to take each moment as it comes, to let the little things go and to love my family the best that I can. Even when they poop in the bath tub. Twice. In one week.