(This post will be a little vague. I'm fine with that as we are still digesting a few things. And maybe I'm just not ready to say the words "out loud" yet.)
I've started to write this post a few times, but it just wasn't happening. We recently found out that Cohen will have some life long challenges in certain areas of his life. It's not the news we were hoping for, but wasn't completely unexpected. It is an answer that we needed, for ourselves as his parents, and to better understand how to help Cohen be the best Cohen he can be.
I've spent a lot of days in tears. I've spent brief moments in the why him area. Thinking about all that he's been through and then to have this on top sometimes just seems unfair. My heart has been heavy for him and what this might mean for his life. But we also know that he as overcome lots of challenges in his life and this probably won't be the last of them.
Having a new diagnosis isn't easy. It's not the "he'll grow out of it, he just needs more time" answer we were still holding out for. No parent wants their child to struggle or to have things be more difficult for them or be seen as "different". It hurts our hearts as parents to know that Cohen will continue to have challenges, but we also know that it doesn't change who Cohen is. Adding a new word to the chart doesn't change his heart, his smile, his love for trains and ramps and dirt. If anything, it changes who we are and gives us more understanding and better resources.
He has faced so many challenges already. The doctors at his appointments mentioned several time that he is resilient, which we absolutely know to be true. We know he isn't one to give up or quit fighting and that he always does things his own way, in his own time. We know that this won't be anything different and that we love him for who he is and we will always fight for him and with him.