Coming up on four years later...it still hurts. I can't say that it's better. All those memories, forever in my heart and brain, spilling out here and there. Still breaking my heart every time. The tears still fall, although maybe not quite as frequently, and my arms still ache to hold him, kiss him goodnight, and send him off to preschool.
We are so blessed to have met our sweet boy, but to have only known him for such a short time feels like a tease. Some days it feels like we didn't just lose him once, but we feel that loss at every birthday, first and last day of preschool and every milestone in between.
I know the emotions are stronger as we approach a milestone that "should have been". I know the waves that feel so strong right now will settle back down again. Sometimes it just feels good to get it out, to say that my heart hurts.
Thinking of you!
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