Day Dreaming

Every morning that I go to work (and I've been there a lot lately) I make the walk from the parking garage over to the surgery center. Every time I take that walk, I pass the childbirth center on my way. Sometimes, I allow myself to do a little daydreaming.

I think about what it would be like to drive up the childbirth center in labor at 40 weeks, park the car, and hurry in. We might forget a few things because we are too excited or nervous. It might be the middle of the night and I have my scary hair. We will call our family and tell them "it's time" and maybe this time our voices will be full of excitement instead of fear.

I frequently see people out in the parking lot chatting. I like to think they are family members waiting for the arrival of a new little life. I think about how I want the first moments to be ours as a little family and then to share our boy with the rest of our family and friends. They will get to hold the baby instead of looking at him sprawled out on a bed with lots of wires and tubes and machines. I will hopefully get to hold my baby instead of having to wait to go see him and even then being so out of it that I couldn't really take it in. There will be joy instead of tears (maybe a few happy tears).

Of course right behind the childbirth center is the helicopter. The one that has taken a few of my friends down to Seattle to deliver babies. Thankfully, I never had to ride in it, but I know what it means. Just sitting back there like a little reminder. However, in my daydreams I like to think about how maybe, just maybe, it will go the way that we want. The fears are still there, but sometimes I like to ignore them and think about how happy things could be, at least in my daydreams and hopefully in real life.

The Burning Question

This post has been sitting in my "draft" folder for a little while now because I hadn't decided if I wanted to put this out to the world (or 5 of you reading). Then last week, another preemie mom addressed this same question so she gave me the courage to post my own answer.  

"Are you going to have any more kids?" 

We get asked this question a lot. It always kind of surprises me because honestly, I don't think it's anyone's business. It doesn't offend me, it just seems like that is a very personal decision and not really up for public discussion, especially if I don't know you that well. I think mostly people are just curious because of everything we have been through with Carter passing away and Cohen's not so easy entrance into the world.

 I am going to answer this question because this blog is about a journey through grief, surviving the NICU, and learning to go on living. Danny and I have been talking about this very question for a little while now. We want Cohen to have another sibling, one that he gets to grow up with. I just want to be clear on this because it has been suggested to us in the past that children are somehow interchangeable and that "at least we can have more kids". We would never have another baby to replace Carter. No one else will ever take his place in our family.

We have been through a lot and it definitely plays a role in our decisions. If/when we decide to try for another baby, it is going to be hard. I know there will be a lot of nerves and fears. There's a good chance I will be a wreck. My heart tells me that I don't have the strength to ever go through anything like the twins' pregnancy again. There are a lot of questions that we may never have answers to. But, we also don't want to let fear or anxiety stop us from growing our family. If we had another difficult pregnancy and/or preemie, our decisions may change. We both have discussed the fact that we don't know if we could bear losing another baby or have to go through another NICU stay. Of course that's the risk you take with any pregnancy, there are no guarantees. We also know how in love we are with our boys and they are worth it all.

We would love to experience a positive pregnancy although we know it would never be completely free of worry because of what we have been through. There are things we want to experience, like the last 15 weeks of being pregnant. There is a whole trimester we have yet to get to and go through! I would like to be a walking pregnant lady and not laying in bed the majority of pregnancy. I want to wear maternity clothes instead of hospital gowns. We want a chance to experience "normal" and to hopefully find some healing along the way. 

We are just trying to take things one step at a time and let the Lord lead us where he will. So, there you go, I've given you your information...any other questions? :)

25 Weeks

Well, we did make it to 25 weeks although not quite the quiet day we were hoping for! They hooked me up to the monitors for my NST and Baby B wasn't having as much variability as they would have liked, meaning his heart rate was just staying pretty steady where they like to see them have little increases in their heart rates. He also had a few times where his heart rate actually went down so they were a little concerned. They hooked me up again in the afternoon and saw about the same thing, not much variability but some slow downs of Baby B's heart rate. So, I have earned myself overnight monitoring so that they can see if this just happened a few times or if this is a consistent thing. They are also worried about me gaining back all that fluid again which could be affecting Baby B's heart. I think they will do another ultrasound in the morning to check baby fluids and may also do a biophysical profile to check on the well being of the babies. I don't plan on getting very much sleep tonight since I will be on the monitors and they come in usually at least every hour to readjust and put the babies back on since they usually move around. Hopefully I can get at least a few little naps in though. And also, there are currently five sets of twins on the floor right now!!

All Done!

Amnioreduction is done! The Drs came in early this morning and did my ultrasound and then decided since they were both available that they would just do it right then. It wasn't as bad as I thought, the worst part was them putting the numbing medicine in my stomach and then they just use a little straw to get the fluid out....they took out 2.5 liters!!!!! Ugh, no wonder I have been so uncomfortable! I feel way better already and they said the babies were looking better afterward too. In usual fashion, the babies were jumping around and waving throughout the entire thing (they use an ultrasound so they know where they are going). Baby B was even trying to play with the little straw they were using to take the fluid out with. They put me on the fetal monitor for about an hour afterwards and they said the babies heartrates continued to look good. I also got my second steroid shot this morning. They want them in for at least 48 hours which would be 10:30 am tomorrow (hopefully longer!)
The plan for now is just to lay low and hope I don't go into labor, which is kind of the same plan as before. I have been taken off the Ibuprofen because it can cause the baby fluids to decrease and Baby A is already low so they don't want me to take it anymore. They will keep a close eye on me today, although they do expect me to possibly have more contractions just because they upset my uterus by poking it with a big needle. I didn't sleep very well last night so I'm hoping I may even get a nap in today! So, everything went well and as usual, we just keep praying for a quiet rest of the day!

Visit to Children's

Well, we had our visit to Children's and while it wasn't easy, we got some good news. Both babies hearts look good in structure and function! Baby A still has the little calcium deposit but the cardiologist said he really wasn't worry about it at all. The challenge was more in the getting to the appointment. They had wanted me to go by cabulance, but all of the cabulances were busy so they had to take me over by ambulance. I got strapped to the stretcher and all. The ultrasound took about 2 hours which was pretty hard for me. Since I have gotten so big I am pretty uncomfortable and I can't stay in one position for very long. This is one of the things I am worried about for the amnioreduction tomorrow because they will be using a big needle to draw out some of the fluid. My Dr thinks it will make me quite a bit more comfortable, and obviously better for the babies so their little bodies don't have to try and deal with all (or the low) amount of fluid from twin to twin transfusion. I asked the Dr how much fluid she was thought she would take off and she said about 1 to 2 liters!!!!
I got my first steroid shot this morning and will get my second dose in the morning. They said that while the procedure has the potential to induce labor, so does leaving all that extra fluid in there. And also the effects on the babies of leaving that fluid in there. They will do another ultrasound in the morning just to double check the fluids and then they will do the amnio in the afternoon. Here's to hoping for some sleep tonight!
And, a few pictures because we have to keep our sanity somehow...

Up and Down Again

Being here is like being on a roller coaster. One minute everything looks okay and the next minute things are changing and we just aren't sure what is going to happen. I have been rather uncomfortable the last few days and when they weighed me yesterday I had gained another 5 lbs. My Dr came in to see me this morning and when I told her that she said she wanted to check on the babies fluids again. So she did a quick bedside ultrasound and found that Baby B once again has too much fluid and they are back to being concerned about twin to twin transfusion. They want to do an amnioreduction tomorrow and draw off some of the fluid from Baby B. Since this procedure has the potential to induce labor they are also giving me the steroid shot today. We are also scheduled to go today for the echocardiograms of the babies hearts at Children's today, otherwise they would have done the amnioreduction today. So, please keep all of those things in your prayers. 1) That the babies hearts look normal at the echo 2) That the amnioreduction doesn't put me into labor or 3) that I don't go into labor for at least 48 hours so that the boys get the benefits of the steroids. This gives us a few things to think about so please continue to keep us in your prayers! Thank you for all you have already done for us!

Danny Checking In

Hey everyone,
Its Danny here just checking in on Memorial day weekend.  We had planned to go camping this weekend, and in a way, I guess we kind of are camping here at the hospital.  Things have been kind of crazy for me lately.  I only sleep in Lynden two nights a week and the rest of the time I'm down with Jana at the UW.  It has been quiet on the baby front this weekend, which is good, but its pretty easy to be stressed out regardless.  Jana has been in her bed for about a week and a half now and is getting very sore and uncomfortable.  Its hard not to be able to help her or get her moving around, but I guess we gotta do what we gotta do.
I just want to say that we're very thankful for all the support and prayer that we've received from everyone and that we will continue to appreciate all that we receive in the future.  Be constantly praying for us as you know we will be constantly praying for our little ones as well.  Thanks again.

24 Weeks!!!!!!

Well, we made it! I honestly wasn't sure if we would ever make it to this day but I'm so thankful that we did!! Since we hit the "viable" mark they will be monitoring the babies heart rates twice a week. They put me on the monitor and watch the babies heart rates for about 20 minutes to make sure they are behaving. I had this done today and it was a little rough because they had hard time finding both babies at the same time. They move constantly move around and I was laying flat on my back for over an hour, which I don't do very well with. But, of course the babies did fine! They also gave me a glucose test to check for gestational diabetes, which I passed so that's also good news.
Please continue to pray as we make decisions about when to get the steroids (I think I mentioned it before) , its kind of a guessing game as to when we get them because we don't want to get them too early but also don't want to wait until its too late! Danny is driving up tomorrow after work to spend the long weekend with me. My birthday is this weekend so my mom brought me a little early birthday cake :)

Almost There...

Only 2 more days to 24 weeks!!! I know we had the negative FFN test which is definitely good news, but I will be so glad to actually see the 24 week mark come and go. The resident who delivered my negative test news had mentioned the "home" word in passing, but when my regular doctor came to see me yesterday she said that was a no go. They want to keep me here so they can continue me on the ibuprofen and keep up with monitoring babies fluids and my cervix. They also want me here so that if they feel like its time to give me steroids (to help the babies lungs in case they are born) that I am already here and they can give them to me right away. The steroids have to be in my system for 48 hours to be effective and they lose the benefit of having them after 2 weeks if the babies aren't born yet so it's an important timing thing.
They weighed me yesterday and I have gained 5 lbs since being here!! They told me my jobs were resting and eating, so I guess I'm doing an okay job! The babies weighed in at 500 grams, or just over a pound each.
Yesterday was an uneventful day for the most part, which is okay with me. My mom has been here with me and I have had some friends in and out to visit which helps pass my days a little quicker. My breakfast has arrived so I am off to feed these boys and fatten them up some more!

Negative!!!

The FFN (This is a little about it) came back negative!!!!! If you get a negative result with this test there is a 94-97% chance you won't go into labor in the next 1-2 weeks so we are definitely hoping that is true! We have had quite a few visitors today so I am pretty tired. We will probably see our Dr in the morning so we have quite a few questions for her as to what this all means, but from what we understand its good news!! Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support! We definitely couldn't do without them :)

A Little News!

The Drs came by yesterday and measured the babies amounts of fluids. They said it looks like Baby B still has a little more but that now they think they have almost the same amounts of fluid as each other! Go figure :) So we get to keep taking Ibuprofen for now! Contractions have been pretty calm the last few days so we are just praying for that to continue! It is getting harder for me to get comfortable and my back and ribs have been pretty sore so the nurse brought me a heating pad and an egg carton mattress thing for on top of my regular mattress. I slept better last night and it seems to be a little more comfortable.
My friend Kim came to visit us yesterday and brought me pajama pants that fit! Yay! We have some family coming to visit us today as well. There isn't too much to do around here but it sure makes the time go faster when I get to  have visitors!
Ohhhh the Drs just came in (are always residents and such floating around here) and said that they are going to do a cervical check today as well as what is a called an FFN test. They use it for women who have preterm labor symptoms. I haven't heard of it before, but it checks for proteins that the babies make in the cervix. If its positive it may or may not mean anything BUT if its negative then that is really reassuring to them that they don't think I will go into labor in the next 1-2 weeks! Hooray! AND they said if its negative, they may even think about letting me go home!!!!!!! I'm not sure how likely that actually is, but we'll see. They said they will do the test this morning and it takes about 4 hours for the results and then they will take to the perinatologist who has been in charge of my care. How things change around here! Please keep these specific things in your prayers, I would love to get to go home but even if I don't it would be a pretty big sigh of relief if we had a pretty high chance of NOT delivering in the next 1-2 weeks!

Thursday Afternoon

We had our ultrasound this morning, they measured my cervix and the fluids of the babies again. They confirmed that indeed, Baby A and Baby B have switched fluid amounts in their bubbles. Baby B, who had the low amount the last 2 weeks now has the higher amount and Baby A, who had the higher amount, now has the lower amount. I asked the perinatologist if they saw that very often and she said no, so who knows! The good news with that is that both babies are still on the upper and lower limits of acceptable. Right now, they are not as worried about that and are actually saying it may only possibly be twin to twin transfusion. My cervix is measuring the same as it was yesterday so they will continue to watch that as well. The Dr said that sometimes a cervix WILL close up again so that's what we are praying for!!
They have started me on taking ibuprofen which can help to calm down any irritability/inflammation that may be happening in my uterus causing me to have contractions. They are going to have me take the ibuprofen for 2 days and then will check the babies fluids on Saturday again to make sure it is not affecting the babies kidneys/amounts of fluid that they have. If the fluids have changed they will stop the ibuprofen. If the fluid changes are from the ibuprofen then in theory they will correct themselves within a day or two. If it is from twin to twin transfusion, then the fluids were going to change anyway and the ibuprofen wouldn't have made a difference regarding the fluids.
We have had visits from probably every single person in the hospital today....our perinatologist, the neonatologist, dietary, social work, the people who fix tvs etc. It has been a rather exhausting day and I am hoping to get a little better sleep tonight.
My mom has been here keeping me company today and Danny will come down tomorrow after work and stay the weekend with me. For now, they are just watching us and my jobs are to rest and eat. I can order food as many times as I want during the day (they even have little Haagen Dazs ice creams!) So that's all for now. We are just waiting and hoping these boys keep hanging in there! Thankyou for all your prayers we really do appreciate them!

23 weeks and a Trip to UW

We went in today (well I guess technically its yesterday now) for our weekly checkup at our OB office in Bellingham. I had been having quite a few more contractions the last couple days. The first thing they did was check my cervix and it had changed quite a bit, last week it was 2.9 cm long and this week it is 1.4 cm. They also could see one of the babies membranes (part of their little bubble) down in the funneled part of my cervix. Also, when they went to check the fluids of the babies, they were awfully confused about what was going on. The ultrasound tech went to get the Dr who came in to look for himself. From what they could see it appeared as though Baby B now had too much fluid and Baby A had the lesser amount. They can tell the babies apart because Baby A has that little deposit in his heart, so they were able to tell for sure which baby is which. However, they weren't really sure what to make of that and I don't really know either. They were mostly concerned about my cervix and the amount of contractions I had been having so my Dr called the Drs down here and they said I should come to UW and get admitted so they can watch me. Danny and I ran home to get a few things and then came down to the hospital. They got us checked in right away and just listened to the babies heart rates. They also put me on a little monitor to check my contractions and I was having them every 2-3 minutes. For tonight, they are just going to watch me and then one of the perinatologists I have seen in the UW clinic is coming in tomorrow to discuss "the plan".
Since we are only at 23 weeks there is not a whole they would do if the babies are born. If we make it to 24 weeks it is still a 50/50 chance that the babies would make it. I have heard lots of stories about people who have been in similar situations whose cervixes have stayed the same and not changed and they were able to go to 28-30 weeks. I sure hope that is the situation. My heart can't handle very many more of these "your babies aren't viable so we need to decide what we would do" conversations.
Please pray for us as we meet with the Drs today. We want to do what is right and best for our babies and I know we are going to have to make some hard decisions. It is a really stressful situation and we are trying to be optimistic. Its so hard to feel my babies moving around and hear their hearts beating but to know that if they are born now they wouldn't survive. Please also pray for Danny. He came down to UW with me and left at 2:30 am this morning to go to work. This is stressful for him and not getting very much sleep doesn't help. My mom is coming down in the morning so that someone can be here when they do my ultrasounds and chat with the drs.
It is 3:00 am and I woke up when Danny left and then needed a little snack. I'm hoping I can get a little more sleep before all the activities of the day start. Please keep our little family in your prayers.

22 weeks!

Hooray! Another week down! I've been at home for 2 weeks now. Honestly, they haven't gone quickly but I'm glad they were uneventful for the most part.

I had a pretty eventful day yesterday, I did some Dr. approved couch surfing (she said it would be good for my sanity :) over to the Smith's house for a little change of scenery. That was a big outing for me so then I took a 2 hour nap. My niece Michelle rode her scooter over after school and played some games with me and helped with a few little things around the house. Then my friend Mika came over and brought some really good cinnamon rolls that Danny and I have been enjoying!

- Weight Gain: Not much this week, still at 22 pounds. We talked with a nutritionist at our last appt and she said that by about halfway through the pregnancy they want you to have gained half of your weight. They told me I would gain about 40 lbs so I think I'm right on track!
- Babies: I keep meaning to ask how much the babies weigh, but I always forget, maybe I will remember to ask at our appt next week. When they measured my stomach they said I am measuring about as big as someone who is 30 weeks along! Now I feel better about why everything (like rolling over) requires more effort and why my back hurts! The baby kicks are starting to get uncomfortably close to my ribs, I can only imagine what it will be like soon! They are definitely getting stronger and Baby A is certainly an active little fellow. Baby B moves around a lot at times also, but they said its normal to not feel him moving as much because he doesn't have as much room as his brother!
- Things I miss: Not having heartburn, sleeping on my stomach or my back
- Cravings: The usual...chocolate, smoothies, pie. I had really been wanting a hard boiled egg for some reason for the last week or so. My mom brought me one today and I still don't like them! I didn't know you would crave things you don't like!

We continue to be so grateful to those who have stopped by to visit, brought snacks, lent us movies, called to check in etc. This would definitely be a lot harder if we didn't have so many great friends and family! We are getting closer to the 24 week mark, which is kind of one of the little milestones/goals I have set in my mind. While I certainly want the babies to stay in a lot longer than 24 weeks, I think I will breathe a little sigh of relief when we hit that spot because then the babies are considered able to survive if they were born, where as right now they wouldn't. We are starting to adjust to some of these new changes and are feeling God's peace that He will carry us through! And here's the belly in all its glory :)

Things to Do on Bedrest

While I am not on strict bedrest (they called it modified bedrest) I still spend a fair amount of time resting. My OB told me I need to find things to do to keep up my mental health while I am adjusting to all these changes, because I am used to being busy, not resting! So, I googled "things to do on bedrest" and this is what I got:

- puzzles
- crafts: crochet, knitting, hand sewing
- crosswords/word searches
- computer games
- bar soap sculptures (haha!)
- read books, magazines, blogs, parenting websites
- learn a new language
- Scrapbooking
- write letters
- online shopping - ebay, etsy, etc (although very dangerous!)
- stumbleupon.com
- organize photo albums, recipe books, update address books
- make lists, things for babies, things for me to do, things for hubby to do
- find new recipes
- make an email and phone list for when the babies arrive
- address envelopes for birth announcements

That's what I have found so far. I have done some of these things, but I think I need to mix up my routine a little and try a few new ones!

Monday Update

We went in to UW this morning for our weekly checkup and it was good news! Nothing has changed since last week! Hooray!!! The OB did a bedside ultrasound and my cervix is the same and the amount of fluids that the babies have are also the same! She said at this point she feels comfortable with us having our weekly checkup in Bellingham next week and then if anything has changed then we can go from there. But here's to hoping everything just stays how it is.
In 2 weeks we have an appointment at Children's in Seattle. Because Baby A had a funny nuchal translucency ultrasound (remember that way back when?) and now has a small calcium deposit on his heart, they are wanting to do an echocardiogram. This is an ultrasound looking specifically at the heart, just to make sure everything looks okay. If they see anything on Baby A then they will also do one on Baby B as well. They will also check the fluid amounts and the growth of the babies at that appt.
It was a long day, but it was so great not to get any more bad news! I even got to ask my boring questions that I always forget to ask because I am too caught up in whatever stressful thing they are telling me for the week.  We are just so thankful that for the time being everything seems to be behaving. So, I just keep on resting at home and feeding the babies and see what happens next week. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them up, they're working!!

Sunday

Well, we are going in for our weekly appointment tomorrow at UW. We will find out if they want us there every week or if we can alternate between here and Bellingham. Obviously, for the sake of not driving 2 hours to Seattle every week, it would be nice to be able to have at least every other appt here. However, it may also be more reassuring to go to UW every week because if something changes then they are the ones making the plans from here on out so it would be quicker to just be there and have them decide right away. Like I mentioned earlier, we are trying to keep Danny working as much as he can now without having to take days off so Mom will be picking me up and driving me to Seattle.
I've been thinking a lot about making plans lately. Its funny how we can try and make plans, try and wait until we are "ready" and feel like we are in a good place to start having kids. We have a house, good jobs, family around, should be all ready right? So often I try and make plans and then God comes shows me that they are not my plans, they are his plans. It wasn't in my plan to have twins (although a nice surprise!). It wasn't in my plan to end up in a high risk pregnancy where there is a very real possibility of having these babies pretty early. It wasn't in my plan to have to sit around every day and wonder if my worst fears will come true and the babies will decide they are ready to come out (they better not!) It wasn't in my plan to have to worry about losing my job and my insurance along with it. I can plan and plan all I want, but ultimately, it isn't about my plans. Its about God's plans and what he has in store for us. I definitely don't understand his plan at this point, but I know that he must have a pretty good one. He chose us to walk through this and I know he will give us the strength to continue. It hasn't been easy,  there have been many tears and unrestful nights, and I'm sure there are many more to come. But I have to believe that God has a plan. A plan better than I could have imagined or hoped for. I was reminded the other day that God isn't in heaven wondering what is going to happen with these babies, he already knows! He doesn't give us more than we can handle (although sometimes it feels like it!) and he doesn't make us do it alone.
Anyway, this is kind of a random, rambling post. But these are the things I have been thinking about lately. My Aunt sent me a card with this verse. I've read it many times before, but its a good reminder to me, especially today.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we head to Seattle tomorrow! Pray that the fluid the babies have are still at acceptable levels, that they are still growing at similar rates, and that my cervix is behaving! Thanks!

A Little Outing!

Today I told Danny that he was taking me for a little outing to Build-A-Bear. I have been wanting to go there and make two little stuffed animals for the boys. So this morning we got up, I put on JEANS for the first time in over a week and we headed out. Danny dropped me off at the door closest to Build-A-Bear so I didn't have to walk very far. We got to the store and each picked out a bear. Then they stuff it and put a little heart in it and have you "make a wish". Then we each picked out an outfit, they happened to have one Seahawks outfit and one Mariner outfit, so it was a pretty easy choice! After that Danny had to go get fitted for a tux for a wedding he is in so he took care of that while I sat at the pretzel place and ate a pretzel! After that I was tired so we headed back home. Upon arriving home I took a 2 hour nap! I guess that was too much excitement for one day, but I was happy to have finally gotten to make my bears and I think it was good for my mental health.

21 Weeks!

Hooray! We made it another week! I never thought I would be so happy to see each day come and go and be uneventful, eventually adding up to another week that our babies are safe and secure in their little home. The OB told us that every day the babies spend in the womb is like 7 days in a NICU. I am happy to report that I have had quite a few less contractions lately and am hoping it continues! I am resting for the majority of the day, but it is nice to be able to get up and at least do a few little things around the house. I have had a few visitors over the week, which has been really nice. It makes my days go a little faster and I feel a little more like a normal person when I get to see other people.

A few days ago my parents came over (have I mentioned how wonderful they are!?) and moved the crib we have had sitting in the garage into the house so that I could make the bed. I like to feel like I am sort of slowly starting to get things ready. So, I have one crib all ready to go! The other crib is missing a few bolts so we need to find the right kind and then it will be ready to go also. I had Danny buy me some baby laundry detergent so I did a little load of the baby clothes that we have collected from 2nd Chance and from Little Bugs, the consignment store in Bellingham (its probably a good thing I can't get there again any time soon!)

 My OB here in Bham called to see how things at the appointment went and to check up on me and see how I was doing. She is so great, I am sad that I probably won't really get to see her for most of the rest of this pregnancy, unless they let me do every other week check ups here.

- Weight Gain: 22 lbs as of Monday, my stomach is 36.5 inches around. I can now use my stomach as a small table for snacks, plates, beverages :) I sort of thought my stomach had slowed down in its growth, however, the other night I tried to wear one of my pajama shirts and it was a little snug. So, now I have switched over to wearing Danny's t-shirts, just to bed for now!
- Babies: About the size of bananas (I forgot to ask at our last appt how much the babies actually weighed, I will try and remember on Monday!) They continue to kick and roll around as usual, the kicking is starting to get stronger.
- Things I miss: being able to paint my toenails and sleeping on my stomach
- Cravings: I still really haven't had very many, just chocolate and ice cream but that's not specific to pregnancy for me!

And, a few pictures from the week. Please excuse my hair in the first one, I didn't have any visitors today! Karen stopped by and brought me a blizzard earlier this week and then Jordan and Karen also stopped by on a walk. Jordan picked some dandelions and was smelling them so much his whole upper lip was yellow.

20 week Ultrasound Pictures

Here are the pictures from the ultrasound last week...I love seeing their little noses and mouths :)

Both babies, heads down